Unexplained and Undecided
by Cutieqtpie
Summary: Chapter 5 - (Abby/Rest of ER)
1. Default Chapter

I came into my room after watching tonight's episode and "Hanging By A Moment" was playing on the radio and I thought it must be a sign. I decided to write a continuation of "A Simple Twist of Fate" because I didn't like how it ended with Luka and all that. If you think this story sucks, just remember it's 11:30 and I think I just had somewhat of an emotional breakdown while watching that episode. Bare with me people.  
  
Unfortunately, I do not own any of the characters on ER. If I did, however, I'd have first dibs on Carter, but then he'd go to Abby (of course).  
  
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"Here we are. Let me just get the light and we'll get you settled in." Susan said, unlocking the door to her apartment and reaching for the light switch. "The bathroom is around behind the kitchen. Sorry about the mess. I've been here for five months already and still haven't figured out where to put anything."  
  
Abby walked in and ran her hand through her hair. She couldn't believe she was standing here and that the events of the night had really happened. She had been so stupid to even open the door in the first place.  
  
"Can I get you something to drink? I'm not even really sure what I have in here, but I can find something, or we can order something." Susan broke through Abby's thoughts.  
  
"Uh, I'm fine. Thank you for doing this. You really didn't have to."  
  
"Oh, it's no problem. Really. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you just go back to your place." Susan tried to explain. "Here, I'll make up the bed."  
  
"Come on, I'll lend you something to sleep in." Susan said and started into her room. Abby started to follow her in, but something on the ground caught her eye. She quickly walked around the object and towards Susan's voice that was now in the back of her closet. "Here, this should do it." Susan said, stepping out of the closet. Suddenly Susan also noticed the pair of boxers lying on the floor next to her bed and quickly scooped them up and placed them in a bin in her closet.  
  
"Ah, sorry about that. I'm not a very organized person." Susan said embarrassed.  
  
Abby took the nightgown Susan handed her and went into the bathroom to change. When she emerged a few minutes later, Susan had already made the bed.  
  
"Thank you Dr. Lewis."  
  
"Susan" Susan corrected. "If you need anything else let me know." Susan said, walking towards her own room.  
  
"Do you love him?" Abby asked right as Susan reached the doorway. Susan stopped but didn't face Abby.  
  
"I don't know." Susan said quietly.  
  
"Yes you do. Do you love him?" Abby repeated boldly.  
  
"I thought I did. I first saw him when he was a third year and now he's chief resident. How long have you been at County?" Susan changed the subject.  
  
"Five years. Two in the ER and three in OB."  
  
"You were a med student right?"  
  
"Uh, yeah."  
  
"Who was your resident?"  
  
"Malucci. But John looked after me more." Abby admitted.  
  
"You protected him when the guy who stabbed him came back." Susan said matter of factly.  
  
"I knew what it did to him when Lucy died. I saw all that and I wouldn't want it to happen again."  
  
"That's why I don't love him. I didn't care about protecting him. I was only interested in the care of the patient."  
  
"That's what you do, you're a good doctor."  
  
"But I'm a lousy girlfriend." Susan said, finally turning around and giving Abby an understanding look before turning around and going into her room and shutting the door. As the door clicked shut, Abby thought about what the other woman had just told her. If circumstances had been different, she and Susan would probably have been close friends. One person got in the way of that, Abby thought as she lay down on the bed. John Truman Carter.  
  
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Please review and I'll continue! 


	2. Chapter 2 (Abby/Susan/Luka)

Brrriiiinggg. Brrriiiinggg.  
  
Susan answered the phone on the second ring.  
  
"Hello? Sure one second. Here she is." Susan said and handed the phone to Abby. The two were eating breakfast and drinking coffee.  
  
"Hello?" Abby answered.  
  
"Abby? It's me. How are you?" Luka asked.  
  
"Uh, I'm fine. How did you know I was here?"  
  
"I asked the nurses."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Did you sleep well?" Luka questioned.  
  
"Actually yes." Abby asked, still puzzled about why Luka had called.  
  
"I just called to tell you that Brian turned himself into the police this morning."  
  
"Wow. Just like that?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess he realized it was a better idea." Luka said without telling Abby the whole truth.  
  
"Well that's good news. Wait, hold on one second, there's another call coming through." Abby said to Luka and switched to the other call.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Miss Lockhart?"  
  
"This is she."  
  
"This is Officer Andrews from the Chicago Police Department. The man who supposedly attacked you turned himself in this morning. We need you to come down to identify him."  
  
"Uh, sure. Did he tell you why he decided to turn himself in?"  
  
"Sorry, he really hasn't said much of anything. He was bleeding pretty badly when he showed up though and it looked like he had been smacked around a little bit. He keeps ranting something about a crazy foreigner." The officer replied. Abby went white as this information processed in her head.  
  
"Thank you Officer. I'll be down there as soon as I can." Abby said and waited a second before switching back to the other line.  
  
"Abby you there?" Luka asked.  
  
"Oh, uh, yeah. Um, Luka?" Abby asked, glancing behind her to see what Susan was doing before walking towards the other room.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"That was the police telling me that he turned himself in."  
  
"Do you have to go identify him?"  
  
"Yeah. They said he's in kind of bad shape and he looked like he had gotten beat up." Abby said.  
  
"Oh? Well he must have upset someone."  
  
"Yeah, he must have." Abby said sarcastically. "Why did you do it Luka?"  
  
"Abby, you should be happy that he turned himself in and you can be finished with him."  
  
"Luka I don't need you to watch out for me behind my back!" Abby said, trying to keep her voice down in order to avoid Susan hearing.  
  
"You don't have anyone else watching out for you. I thought I was doing the right thing. I still care about you. "  
  
"I care about you too, but getting in the way of my problems isn't going to help anything."  
  
"He wouldn't have turned himself in if I hadn't." Luka retorted.  
  
"That's not the point." Abby said angrily. "The point is we need to move on with our lives. I'm not going to depend on you and you can't depend on me. We aren't in a relationship anymore."  
  
"Maybe we were wrong about that."  
  
"We weren't anything. You broke up with me!" Abby exclaimed.  
  
"I have to go." Luka said suddenly.  
  
"Okay then."  
  
"Bye." Luka said and hung up.  
  
Abby put the phone down and shook her head in disgust and in a moment returned to the kitchen.  
  
"Sorry." Abby apologized to Susan.  
  
"No problem. If you don't mind me asking, what was that all about?"  
  
"Luka went and knocked Brian around. It was just so typical of him it's nauseating."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"On our first date, he killed someone."  
  
"Wow."  
  
"The guy was trying to steal my purse and Luka pried the pipe out of the guys hand and started beating him over the head with it and then beat his head into the ground. Luka is...Luka's just...intense." Abby tried to explain.  
  
"How long were you two together?"  
  
"A year. We broke up in October." Abby said. "Luka always wants to help everyone, no matter what the consequences are. He's saving the world one person at a time."  
  
"You don't seem like the type of person who'd take that for a long time."  
  
"I was fine when it was spending extra time with a bishop, or helping a child, but once he moved up to French waitresses, I drew the line." Abby said, suddenly starting to giggle.  
  
"Whoah. This one I have to hear."  
  
"The night we broke up we went to this restaurant and this waitress was all over him. Needless to say it didn't take long after I was out of the picture for them to get together. Then he got her pregnant."  
  
"Luka's going to have a child?" Susan asked incredulously.  
  
"Uh no." Abby said, suddenly becoming silent and serious at the same time. Susan got the message and didn't ask any more questions. Finally, Abby spoke again.  
  
"What time are you on?"  
  
"Um, not until tonight. I wasn't even supposed to be on last night. Kerry made sure I was the only one who didn't get sick."  
  
"You didn't eat the bagels either?" Abby asked smiling. They were suddenly interrupted by a loud knock on the door.  
  
"I wonder who that could be." Susan said as she walked towards the door. She looked through the peephole and then gave a quick glance to Abby before opening the door.  
  
"Where is she?" The man said, storming through the door. Suddenly he caught sight of Abby and stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
"It's not as bad as it looks." Abby said quietly.  
  
"Like hell." He said, growing angrier and angrier.  
  
"John........."  
  
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PLEASE review!! Thank you so much. 


	3. Chatper 3 - (Carter/Abby/Susan)

Okay, many people did not like the first chapter of this story. I'm warning you now that this story is going to turn into a Carby and if you don't like that, don't read this. For all of you carby's...please read and enjoy this story. This chapter is more of a transition from the first two chapters into the next part. Hope you enjoy.  
  
Once again, I do not own any of these characters (still wish I did though)  
  
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"Why didn't anyone call me?" Carter demanded.  
  
"You were upstairs with your mother." Susan explained.  
  
"Calm down. I'm fine. You didn't need to be there." Abby said, still quiet.  
  
"Luka and I took care of her. It's okay." Susan said.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?" John asked still concerned.  
  
"I'm really fine, just a little shook up." Abby said.  
  
"Want some coffee?" Susan asked Carter.  
  
"Uh, sure." Carter said as Susan poured him a cup. He took a sip and then glanced at Abby again. "Do you need anything? Do you want me to go beat the crap out of him?"  
  
"Sorry. Luka already did that." Abby said with an annoyed look on her face.  
  
"What?" John said surprised.  
  
"I don't really feel like talking about it. Susan can I use your shower?"  
  
"Sure. Take as much time as you need." Susan said kindly. As Abby walked into the other room Carter took another sip of his coffee.  
  
"Well, you two are certainly getting along." Carter said.  
  
"Yeah we are. It's been a while since I had someone to talk to." Susan said truthfully. "How are your mother and the little boy?"  
  
"Mickey isn't doing very well but my mother is determined to stay until the end. It's kind of strange." John said shaking his head. "Is Abby really okay?"  
  
"She was starting to feel better until Luka called."  
  
"Oh. How long is she going to be staying here?"  
  
"I'm not really sure. She was talking about getting a hotel. I still don't think she's very comfortable here." Susan confessed.  
  
"That's understandable." John said under his breath.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Nevermind." Carter said hurriedly. "I think I'm going to get going. I don't think she's very comfortable around me either. Uh, I'll call you later, okay?"  
  
"Sure." Carter gave Susan a quick kiss on the cheek and left the same way he had come in.  
  
As Susan watched him leave, she thought about what Abby had said the night before. Before she could think about it too much though, she heard the shower stop. A few seconds later, Abby emerged from the bathroom.  
  
"Did Carter leave?" Abby asked.  
  
"Yeah. He said he'd check back later."  
  
"Oh okay."  
  
"Here, I'll get you some clothes to wear. You're smaller than I am, but I'm sure I have something that will work." Susan said with a smile.  
  
"Thank you for all you've done for me. I'll leave after I get dressed. I really don't want to be a burden and I'll be fine in a hotel room." Abby said as Susan handed her some clothes. She walked into the bathroom and came out in a minute with her hair in a ponytail an  
  
"I've told you already. It's really no problem. It's fine if you want to stay."  
  
"No, I think it'll be better if I go."  
  
"Okay, if that's what you want." Susan said defeated as Abby put on her shoes and got together the few belongings she had brought with her. "Are you going back to your apartment? Do you want me to come with you?"  
  
"I'll be fine. Really." Abby said convincingly.  
  
"Well then I guess I'll see you back at the hospital. Don't come back too soon though, enjoy your break." Susan said with a smile.  
  
"I will." Abby said opening the front door.  
  
"Bye." Susan replied as she stood in the doorway and watched Abby leave.  
  
"Oh, and Susan?" Abby called as she got down the hallway.  
  
"Yeah?" Susan said.  
  
"I hope things work out with you and Carter." Abby smiled and got into the elevator and was gone. 


	4. Chapter 4 - (Carter/Abby)

Thank you all for your reviews, positive and negative. This chapter is the real start of the carby because there is some real friction between Carter and Abby (as you will read). I hope you enjoy the story, but if you don't, that's okay too. Once again, thanks for reviewing. Email me at [1]incognito0686@yahoo.com if you have any other comments.  
  
Unfortunately, I do not own any of the characters on ER. If I did, however, I'd have first dibs on Carter, but then he'd go to Abby (of course).  
  
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Walking up the familiar steps to her apartment was a little bit difficult for Abby. When she got to her front door, she quickly unlocked the door, stepped in, and locked it again quickly, being sure to put the deadbolt on too. Being cautious, Abby gave a short glance around the apartment. This was the first time she had been back since her attack. Knowing that Brian was in jail made her feel a little better, but she still was not one hundred percent reassured.  
  
She set her coat on her dining room table and walked into her bedroom. She pulled a small suitcase out of her closet and put a few changes of clothes and other necessities in it. In twenty minutes, she was ready to go. After making sure she had her wallet, she gathered the suitcase and walked back out the front door.  
  
Since she had called as she was leaving Susan's apartment to make a reservation, when she arrived at the hotel a half an hour later, she quickly checked in and then went up to her room. She set the suitcase down inside the door and sighed as she locked the door. She decided to try to get some sleep since she had nothing else to do. She changed into a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt and crawled into the neatly made bed. It only took a couple minutes before she was sleeping soundly.  
  
A few hours later, she was awoken by a soft knocking on her door. Rolling out of the soft bed, Abby slowly made her way to the door and after looking through the peephole, opened the door.  
  
"Hey." John Carter's sympathetic smile greeted her.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"I thought you might be hungry and so I stopped and brought you some Chinese food." Carter said, as Abby noticed the bags in his arms.  
  
"Oh thanks. Come on in." Abby held the door open as the man walked in.  
  
"I know you obviously didn't want visitors. It took me fifteen minutes to convince the guy downstairs to tell me what room you were in. He tried calling you to see if it was okay, but you didn't pick up the phone." John explained and put the bags on the closest table.  
  
"Sorry about that. I was asleep." Abby responded, trying to hold back a yawn.  
  
"I didn't mean to wake you."  
  
"No, it's okay. I needed to get up anyway, even though I don't really have any other big plans."  
  
"Well then come and enjoy a hot meal. I got pretty much everything."  
  
"You shouldn't have done this. I'm not really that hungry. I could have ordered room service if I got hungry."  
  
"Try to eat something. It'll make you feel better." John persuaded.  
  
"Yes, doctor." Abby said sarcastically and rolled her eyes, but did put together a small plate of food and attempted to eat.  
  
"See, don't you feel better?" Carter said after watching her for a few minutes.  
  
"Hmm." Abby responded while picking at her food. "I'm sorry, I really just don't have an appetite."  
  
"You don't need to apologize. It's okay. You can just leave it out in case you get hungry later." Carter gave another small smile.  
  
"Did you have a shift today?" Abby asked trying to break the awkward silence.  
  
"No, but I ran in there for a couple minutes for something."  
  
"I'm trying to decide when to come back. I don't want to be cooped up in here for the rest of my life."  
  
"Don't try to rush it. Take your time. Kerry's lenient about things like that."  
  
"I know. I just need something to keep myself busy."  
  
"Right." Abby could sense there was something John wanted to say, but was holding back.  
  
"I looked at your chart today." Carter finally admitted.  
  
"Oh." Was all Abby could say.  
  
"I noticed something interesting, which no one else seemed to catch." John said, looking down. Abby didn't respond, but shut her eyes instead. "Your blood alcohol level was pretty high."  
  
Abby still didn't reply and didn't look at Carter.  
  
"Abby? Abby...? Have you started drinking again?" John asked after a moment of trying to come up with the right way to phrase the question.  
  
"You know what. I'm pretty tired. I think you should go." Abby said, changing the subject.  
  
"No. Answer my question." John said annoyed.  
  
"Carter..."  
  
"No, I'm not leaving." John said forcefully. "How long have you been doing this?"  
  
"It's under control. I don't need you lecturing me." Abby rebutted.  
  
"Abby. We both know that you shouldn't be doing this to yourself. You're throwing your life away."  
  
"I really think you should leave." Abby said strongly and opened the door to her room and held it open.  
  
"Fine. You know what, just fucking fine." Carter stormed out of the room and down the hallway. Abby forcefully shut the door, but winced as the loud noise echoed through the room. She walked over to her purse and pulled out a contained of Tylenol. She pour two caplets into her hand and put the container back in her purse. She poured herself a glass of water and swallowed the two pills. After pouring out the rest of the water, Abby climbed back into the bed and pulled the covers up around her face. She forced Carter's words out of her head and closed her eyes.  
  
References  
  
1. mailto:incognito0686@yahoo.com 


	5. Chapter 5 - (Abby/Rest of ER)

Sorry I didn't get this posted earlier. We had a half day at school today and then I went out with my friends and didn't get home til late this afternoon. I was watching the Olympics last night and then I walked out of the room and missed the preview for ER. I went running back into the room but it was already over and I was really upset. So since then, I've vowed not to leave the room while the Olympics are on because I know they have to play the ad again at some point. No, I'm not as retarded as I sound. Haha. Enjoy this chapter!  
  
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One week later, the swelling on Abby's face was a little better. The large bruise was still visibly obvious, but her eye and nose were almost their usual size. Abby woke up and glanced at the alarm clock that was blaring beside her bed. She had moved back into her apartment two days before and she still had two more days until her first shift back in the ER. As Abby got out of bed, she quickly glanced at her calender. February 14. Only two years ago Carter and Lucy had been stabbed and Lucy had died. Abby felt goosebumps starting to form on her arms and legs. She slid on her slippers and walked towards her bathroom.  
  
She shed her clothing as she reached the shower and quietly turned on the water and then stepped in. The water stung at first as it hit her face, then she closed her eyes and let the water envelope her body. She got out fifteen minutes later and wrapped a towel around her body. After pulling her hair back into a ponytail, she walked into her closet and got dressed. Deciding she had nothing else to do, Abby decided to go into the hospital a few days early and see if there was anything she could do to help out.  
  
Abby pulled on her coat and stepped outside her apartmentment building into the frigid air. It was the middle of February but the weather still seemed the same as it did in December. She stopped into Doc Magoo's to get a cup of coffee before heading across the street and into the hospital. As she walked through the ambulance bay doors, she got swept into the circle that was the ER. She took off her scarf as she walked towards the main desk.  
  
"Abby!" Randi squealed. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I got bored sitting around doing nothing. You can only clean out your apartment so many times." Abby said smiling at the desk clerk's enthusiasm.  
  
"Abby." A voice called from down the hallway. "You aren't supposed to be back for another couple of days."  
  
"I'm sorry, Dr. Weaver. I should have called first. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help out." Abby said cautiously.  
  
"Sure. Put your stuff in the lounge and find a doctor." Kerry said smiling. "You're looking much better. Welcome back."  
  
"Thanks." Abby said as the older doctor walk away. She walked into the lounge and hoped that it would be empty. She wasn't that fortunate however. As she stepped into the lounge she saw Carter putting something away in his locker. Abby quickly walked to her own locker and opened it. She didn't even look in John's direction as she quietly put away her coat and grabbed her hospital identification. She started to leave when Carter finally spoke.  
  
"How are you?" John said slowly. "You're obviously fine since you're back and you're probably sick of everyone asking you that, but it just seems like the only polite thing I can think to say."  
  
Abby didn't answer, but continued to leave the room.  
  
"Abby..." Carter called.  
  
"Look, I don't really want to talk about anything you said the other night and I don't think you really do either. So why won't we each just mind our own business and keep out of each other's lives." Abby said cooly.  
  
"Fine. If that's what you want." Carter said and Abby stomped out of the room. She hurried towards an exam room and opened the door and saw Dr. Lewis with a teenage girl.  
  
"Hey. Need any help?" Abby said with a small smile.  
  
"Uh no thanks. I got it here." Susan said without looking up from the chart she was holding.  
  
"Oh ok." Abby said and started out of the room.  
  
"Oh Abby! I'm sorry. I didn't see it was you." Susan finally looked up from her chart.  
  
"Yeah. I came back a few days early."  
  
"Well it's good to see you back." Susan gave her a big smile. "Um, I really don't need any help here. Do you want to go get coffee or something later?"  
  
"Uh, maybe. I'm not sure how long I'm going to be staying."  
  
"Oh. Okay. Well just find me if you do." Susan smiled again as Abby left the room.  
  
Four hours later, Abby finished with a patient and walked exhausted back into the lounge. Once again it was not empty.  
  
"First day back tough?" Jing-Mei asked politely.  
  
"Uch. I had just forgotten what it was like and I was only out one week!" Abby exclaimed.  
  
"Try coming back after maternity leave. That's even more fun." Chen joked. "You off?"  
  
"Yeah. I just finished. Weaver didn't really want me on the entire shift." Abby explained.  
  
"Well go home and rest. That's the best advice I can give you." Jing-Mei said and left the room.  
  
Abby opened her locker and pulled her things out and wrapped her coat around her body. It had actually been somewhat soothing coming back. She shut the locker and sighed a breath of relief that she had made it through the day. 


End file.
